Surely You’re Not Serious
WBQotW #276

Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K. – Ted

Please tell me you know the movie from which this quip came. Please.

WFHF: Bored

Hey, everybody! Long time no see! It’s Work From Home Friday!!

The Zoloft

It’s a good thing I have such a great sense of humor. Seriously.

But first, this week’s white board quip:

I’m on the Zoloft to keep from killin’ ya’ll. – Mike Tyson

You know that Tammy and I have been breaking our backs to get our house ready to sell. It is currently immaculate. It’s so clean I’m afraid to walk around in it. No boogers are to be flicked in this house for the foreseeable future.

Two weeks ago, while we were deep in the midst of the renovations, our neighbor to the right decided to renovate his bathroom. Great! Good for him. Except that every night, he washed out all his tools in the gutter, up hill from our house. The street isn’t quite level and water pools in front of our drive way, which means, while we were fighting to perfect our curb appeal, our curb was peeling with grout and tile dust. Notsome!

We borrowed a power sprayer (Thanks Vaughn!) and washed the street in front of our house AND our neighbors house. That’s how bad we wanted our place to SHINE!

So, today, the house is officially on the market. It is gorgeous. Before leaving for work, I ensured that every rug was fluffed and every floor was boogerless. Then I walked out side and found this…

Construction equipment next door.

Why? Why are there Bobcat tractors blocking my driveway? Why are there dump trucks blocking my street?! Why is the din of jack hammers rattling my windows??!!

Today. The first day my house is actually on the market, my neighbor on the left is tearing out his driveway. WHY TODAY?!

It’s a good thing I have a great sense of humor… because unlike Mr. Tyson, I don’t have any of “the Zoloft.”

What Are the Odds?

In America…

There’s an 11.5% chance that you have a masters degree or higher.
There’s a 10% chance that you are left handed.
There’s an 8.3% chance that you have been diagnosed with diabetes.
There’s a 6.2% chance that you are a veteran.
There’s a 5% chance that you will never get married.
There’s a 3.3% chance that you are a citizen or *legal* resident born in Mexico.
There’s a 2.7% chance that you are a millionaire.
There’s a 2.3% chance that you are gay.

So why are we changing every facet of our culture to appease the gay agenda?

Take the Rainbow Back

(This ought to give my site a good traffic spike! Everyone put on your wading boots. Here come the haters. *grin*)

The Saga Continues

It’s been another week of sanding, painting and cleaning. But the end is in sight. All the doors have knobs again. All the light switches have covers again. It’s starting to look like a house! I’ve got one door to left to sand and paint, then the garage door trim, and we’ll be done. Stick a fork in us! Well, no. Don’t do that. Please.

Instead, enjoy this week’s white board quip:

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.

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